10,000 hours?

10,000 hours is the magical number that one needs in practice hours to become adept on a musical instrument, or so the research states. When Covid-19 struck,  I made the trek back from Myrtle Beach earlier than usual, it only took me a couple of months to have the 'aha' moment to return to something I knew I always would get back to. Music. I took a couple of years of guitar lessons and a couple of years of piano lessons in my 20's but aside from that, no other formal training.  I gave my piano to the grandees so it just made sense to resume my journey with the guitar which would be like starting as a beginner again. After all, it's been well over 35 years since I really touched it and being that when I started, I was taking courses, raising kids, working, managing a single household and finding the time to devote to practice was limited. I am that person that needs time to devote and not limited time.  I pulled my guitar out of the darkness, added some new strings and within a few weeks, I was attempting to pluck those string. It wasn't pretty, I had pretty much forgotten everything. I will say, that did cause me some frustration.

What remained, however, was the fact that I was motivated, enthusiastic and prepared to work hard and
practice lots to learn to play which was a lifelong desire. AND, now I have time. 

Let me take you back. From my youngest of years, I always wanted to learn music and learn ballet, I got a plastic guitar one Christmas when I was 6 or 7 and was over the moon. I also got a table top organ when I was 10, I worked through the two books that came with it and my mom got a few more books, the thirst for learning was there, the devotion, unfortunately, no lessons and I could only take myself so far as a motivated kiddo. Just a fact of the times.  Then, my sisters who were much younger, got piano and a teacher who taught them. By this time I was 13 and embarrassed about starting as a beginner with my sisters. Instead, when they came home, I went through their lesson material and began once again to self teach. My sisters didn't last too long and that was the end of me keeping up with piano. 

The desire to play an instrument tucked away and not so much of a priority as my family life began and which makes for busier times and minimal time for self indulgence. Although the attempt was made in my 20s, the truth is, I always felt that I was stealing time away from my kids, or my marking or planning for work or from staying on top of household duties. I knew quite well, I wasn't a natural and learning an instrument would take a very serious commitment to it. I could not justify taking the time.

So, why not when I first retired? Well, along came golf, reading catch up, writing for my site and the Carolinas. So, instead, it took Covid for me to realize, the time had come to resume the desire to learn to play an instrument.

Despite, degenerative disc disease and aches and pains, I propelled myself into learning to play fingerstyle guitar on my own. This time, it's different - the world of music online has a wealth of music and videos to guide my learning. I now have everything I needed, intense desire, a strong practice ethic and TIME. I won't say it's coming to me easily, it is a lot of work, I love to practice but I need to practice in smaller increments of time to avoid 'getting old issues'.  My site is suffering but I'm loving the practice time.  I call it 'my journey without destination'.  Why? Well, there are pieces I would love to play that are completely out of my reach currently so, where I land will always be a mystery.

A word about the photo: My Covid Corner is a bedroom I converted to a music room, I bought the funky musician's stool thinking with all of the adjustments to the back rest, the seat and the foot rest, that it would help with the degenerative disc disease, however, 10 months later, I decided to sell it. I needed a better set up. Not sure what that looks like yet and for the time being, I am using the sofa.

Officially a Senior Citizen

 When I reached the milestones of 30, 40, 50 and 60, it didn't much matter, I always felt the decade that one became officially 'old' so to speak was 80. For some reason 80 just sounds old, despite the fact, that to those individuals who are decades younger than me, I AM OLD. Ha ha, again, you're only as old as you feel so why let a number get in the way? Well, indeed that's my mantra and I'm sticking to it. 

Five or 6 years ago, on one of my first winters in Myrtle Beach when I was a relatively new golfer, I was at Whispering Pines driving range. As I was leaving the course, a fellow driving away, stopped and asked if I scared away all the men, ha ha, there were quite a few when I came to the range but as I left, none were left. Maybe I did scare them away with my crazy swing!! I proceeded to ask the fellow leaving the course, how is game was. He said, actually pretty good, I didn't quite shoot my age but it's the closest I've been. He then proceeded to tell me he was 92 and shot 94. I let him know how impressive it was and told him there was hope for me. So there you go, it's just a number. Shooting my age? Good grief, that's just a fantasy.

This year, the girls decorated up the golf cart and the day couldn't have been a better one for a birthday round. Thanks, Linda, Karen and Carol. Definitely a fun round!

It has been far too long since I have posted, Covid has been around for over a year and a half and has taken a tremendous bite out of family time and gatherings. Will things ever return to the norm? That post remains for a bit yet as I think about it. 

In the meantime, 65 is here and I'll embrace it readily.

Ever the Reminders

Today, I sat on my favorite chair in the living room where the bird feeders are in my full view. As I sat reflecting on our Thanksgiving dinner last night, along came the reminder. A beautiful female cardinal appeared. She sat and finally positioned herself to look in through my window, it felt that she was just directly looking at me, I took her picture and was then inspired to write this post. It has been said that this is one of many signs from our loved ones in heaven, they appear when you need them most. I'll always miss my mother and with every special occasion, I'll always miss her more. But, I'm so thankful for the ever noticeable signs and signals to remind me that she will always be a part of my life even after life. Life after life.

Last night, Tanya, Steve, Caleb, Ryan, Shannon, Charlie, Daisy and Van and Doug were all here. An enjoyable evening. One grandchild missing but I was grateful that no photos were posted. I wish not to be exclusionary regarding our lovely and beautiful Emma. All of my grandchildren are equally important and loved. I do miss having her at family functions. This year, I did have a talk with Ryan about it as it just seems that it is the white elephant in the room. Everyone wonders about it but doesn't know what to say. I hope Emma will always know that she is every bit as special as every one of my grandchildren.  Ryan's words were, 'this is better for Emma'. So, I will not judge, not question and I will accept.

As time races through the seconds, hours, days, weeks, months, years, I am thankful for those special times we have.

Once a parent, always a parent, it is life-long. You never stop worrying about whether or not your kids and grandkids are happy, you look for constant signs, you long for their happiness now and always. Ryan, I hope you're happy. I wonder and look for the signs and sometimes I worry. Choose happiness.

And on this reflection - I merely have a reminder that we always savor those wonderful occasions where family comes together for the laughs, the meals that fill you up and then some, and the great chatter among everyone. And to those specials members who are now our special spirits, thank you for always making your signs so apparent to let us know you too are still here.

Random Thoughts this Mother's Day 2019

So here we are on Mother's Day 2019!! As I start this post and I'm certain that it won't be finished today. I shake my head and wonder.....ocould I really be any more negligent about this retirement blog of mine?! Seriously, my intentions were quite good when I started out.

Last night Ryan, Shannon, Charlie Daisy and Van came for a visit for Mother's Day. And, gave me with a beautiful blue Hydrangea. I had been reading about the blue Hydrangeas in particular and how their soil needed to be a little acidic or perhaps additional nutrients needed to be added. A little uncanny, here I am wondering about about these blue hydrangeas and in they walk in with one. It is beautiful. And of course we all know how I feel about blue.

Little Van is growing so long, if he was walking I would probably refer to him as tall. However, he spent a few hours on my lap and seemed to be quite content. The girls played with technology and it always amazes me that technology has replaced the toys the older generations grew up with. Good? Bad? Indifferent? We'll save that research for somebody else that wants to talk a lot.

5 years ago last week I lost my own mother, I never thought it would be this hard, it still feels like yesterday. As I sit here looking at Finn I can't help but think how much she would really enjoy him. Tanya and Steve took Caleb on a trip to Darien Lake this weekend and it's my first time dog sitting, Grand dog sitting. I'm pretty sure Canyon Steve feel that this may be their last annual track to Darien Lake, but who knows Caleb is 16 going on 21. Or so it would seem.

Fast Forward to June 3

When I started out to write this post, I never did think I'd finish in one setting. It seems that my writing is always for my freelance gig and not so much on the personal space.

So yesterday, off we go to golf for what I believe has become the annual tradition, a great bit of outdoor fun with my kids that involves golf! Great day, a bit windy but good outdoor fun! There we are, the 19th hole enjoying a beverage after a fun 18 holes. I'm sure at that point, I had no idea, I would come home and discover a deer tick embedded on my upper leg. So today and over the next 10 days or so, I'll observe and hope there are no nasty tell tale symptoms indicating Lyme's Disease. After all, 1 in for deer ticks are infected. Next time, I'll save the dreaded plucked out tick! Wait - skip the next time!!!

The dreaded tick bite! Still a bit of the head remains....

Thank you Tanya for the Funky Bird Feeder!

So glad you went to Darien, look what I scored??!!

What does a mom really want for mother's day? Happy Kids, Happy Grand Kids. In fact, it's not only what I want on Mother's Day, I want this every day. Today, like every day, I am indeed proud of who my kids have become.

This House 'o Mine

A Visit From the Cardinal

I bought on Grouse Glen in 2006 and moved in 2007. At the time that I bought, I wasn't even sure that I'd move in. However, after giving it a few weeks consideration, I knew I would. The reality was, it's a great place to have family gatherings and it seemed the gatherings were usually at my house.  I also felt that it was a great investment and I've been pretty good at calling those. That intuitive sense that I've been fortunate enough to have - or as Einstein calls  'a higher intelligence' Don't I wish ;-)

However, the reason for my post - This House 'o Mine. I've lived in many houses especially in my growing up years. By the time I reached grade 8, I had moved about 12 times. So, moving wasn't new. But, as I sit here watching the birds that visit the feeder, I can't help but think of the major life changes that happened while living here at Grouse Glen.

When I moved into this house, I was working at Emma King as a VP, my son was living with me and my daughter in my previous house a few blocks away.

So about those major life changes?

• Caleb, my grand son started school
• Caleb started high school
• My son moved out west
• I became an 'mt'-nest'er
• Ryan had his first child, Emma, and moved back to Barrie.  
• Soon after he moved back to Barrie, he moved home for a bit. 
• My son wiped out a car
• He met his current wife Shannon and went on to have 3 more children, Charlie, Daisy and Van while in my duplex
• My grandson Van, was born with a debilitating diagnosis - Lisencephaly. Rather devastating. 
• I became a principal
• I lost my mom :-(  I will forever struggle with this, as I continue to struggle with losing my G'ma Pubba so many years ago
• I retired. 
• My first grand daughter has been alienated from family functions.
•  Since the loss of my mother, the family functions have changed and will never be the same again.
• I winter in MB, perhaps my escape?

I'm not sure I ever experienced so many life changing events in any other house that I lived in.  Although change is the constant and the inevitable, too much of anything is never a good thing, right? 

So .............as the cardinal looked in at me today, I was reminded of all the events that occurred while living here at Grouse Glen. As I write this, I contemplate another move in the not too distant future. But as I said, contemplate. Although the idea of a condo appeals to me - I'm not completely convinced yet. Hence, I will keep the positive energy flowing and welcome happy changes here at Grouse.

Mellow Yellow

I should likely start with saying that I've been negligent and not posting as frequently as I thought I would in the retirement phase of my life. I had such great intentions with a first post on Feb. 2015, and a few up until July 2016.  How did it get to be  October 11, 2018? Well, they say life goes fast, I say, wait until you hit retirement and hang on tight.

Mellow Yellow,   a song written by Donovan, silly lyrics but a catchy tune, one my mom liked and one I liked.

Deb's 5th? Birthday

However, yellow is the reason for my post. And why it has become so special to me. Yellow was a favorite color of my mom's. Being a great seamstress, she made many of my clothes. So, it's no surprise that when I was turning 5, she made me the most beautiful yellow dress. I wore it to Easter service on Sunday  and to the left, I'm wearing it for my 5th birthday party. I felt pretty special in that dress.  She even made the gorgeous hair band that had little yellow and white flowers all over it!

My mom has been gone almost 4 and a half years. It goes without saying, how much I miss her. There is life with mom and life after, a bit of a divider happens when you lose your mom, or anyone close for that matter.

Back to yellow...........she has let me know in so many ways that she has never really left, and that she's in a great place. Yellow................ Initially, I missed the clues but as they became more frequent I realized exactly what they meant. Yellow comes out of nowhere. One spring, I was golfing, my friend and I had to travel south of the county to even find a course that was open. There wasn't a flower to be found. As I was waiting for Ro to hit her ball, that inner nudge came at me and guided me left, slightly down the valley (opposite direction of where I was headed) and there in the valley, peaking through the cold soil were the beginnings of flowers.....Yellow.

Yellow.......My little grandson Van who I have been staying with at Bloorview Children's Rehab Hospital has a drawer full of shirts but each day I was there, the nurse chose to dress him in yellow. Those shirts weren't even on top. When I reminisce about my mother which happens often out of the blue, something yellow always appears. There is a telepathy between us, I need no convincing. There are so many special moments like these that I am thankful for. Perhaps, I'll speak of more in upcoming posts. Wait, did I say upcoming posts? Let's just hope, I can manage to write them a little more frequently than every 2 years.

💛💛💛💛Yellow💛💛💛💛 and just like that, wouldn't you know there would be a 'yellow heart emoji'!!! Seriously, did you ever notice any other color for these aside from red and pink? Another signal.

Skipper

Skipper with Deb in 1963

Those who have come to know me think of me as somebody without pets and some would think I'm not even a fan of pets. How wrong they are. No fault of theirs, after all why wouldn't they think that way?

I haven't had a pet for a very long time, 40 plus years at least. However, like most youngsters, I definitely longed for a dog in my younger years. During those years,  I was a city dweller, big city, hence, pets were out of the question. I lived with my mom (Carol Watson),  brother (Dan Waston) , grandma (Pub to me but Violet Newbury to others) and my mom's younger brother (Jerry Newbury)  in a series of smaller apartments in Toronto which wasn't going to be conducive to having a dog and somehow I knew this and accepted it rather well. I kept myself content with the pets of others.

Skipper with Dan in 1963

I got my fix.  I absolutely loved playing with the pets around me. Once, when we were living upstairs in a duplex in the city, the family downstairs owned a big beautiful dog. I was too young to remember the type, but it was blond, long haired and larger dog.  I would often sit at the top of the stairs making noises to see if the dog would come up the stairs. In no time, this dog became my best friend. The downstairs family often let my new friend visit me and of course my mom was more than happy to see me enjoying my new friendship. We only lived there for about a year but my attachment grew deep. It became a daily ritual.  Sometimes when the owners weren't home, my friend didn't come and I felt let down. Then there came a time when my friend stopped visiting altogether, each day I whistled and called him, soon I became worried.  Then the news came, my mom  told me that my pooch friend was killed by a car. The owners had a hard time telling mom and didn't know what to say to me.  Perhaps that is when mom knew that when her and Twist (Oliver Watson) finally married, a pet would be in order. I know now that, I equated pets with loss which always led to heart break and that would show up throughout my next few pets.

A year later, my mom married and we moved to Huntsville on Fairy Lake,  I got my first real dog. Skipper, who came from my grand-dad (Dan Watson) from Baysville. He was smart and easy to teach tricks to and my mom, brother and I taught him many. Unfortunately, just less than a year later, we had to return him. At the time, I was told he was part wolf, I often wondered about that. But my sister (Susan Watson) was soon born and perhaps, if it was part wolf, maybe my Skipper wouldn't be the best pet to have around a baby. I missed Skipper but eventually we replaced him with Fido, Fido also didn't last more than a year. We left Huntsville in order to allow for Twist to return to school in Oshawa as there wasn't anywhere in Huntsville where teachers could take university courses. The home in Oshawa didn't allow pets.

Susan with Fido

A few years later, we moved to Thornton where we got Rusty the most beautiful border collie in the world (to me), he managed to capture that long gone title of becoming my best friend. Somehow, Rusty seemed human to me, greeting me every morning, spending evenings with me after school and being my finest bud all weekend. Unfortunately, Rusty did have a habit of chasing cars and therefore we needed to be very careful about not letting him escape from our gated yard. During this era 60's early 70's most dogs weren't tied up and tended to have a free roam, nor did we collect their 'poops' back then. One day, while I was in grade 11, Rusty managed to get out, he always wanted to follow me to school as I left to catch the bus each morning into Barrie. That fateful morning, he did manage to get out, he was hit and died hours later despite the gracious efforts of owner (Gord Burke) of the flag store. I knew then, I couldn't have another dog. My heart and my head wouldn't be up for it. We had Rusty for 5 years, the longest I owned a pet and next to losing my grandmother, losing Rusty was pretty traumatic for me.

Although this sounds like a sad entry, it's not really intended to be that way.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time with pets, I continue to enjoy the pets of others but after that fateful day, the desire to have another pet left me forever, call it protection or insulation but the decision was right for me and to this day, I quite enjoy the pets of others and my lifestyle today wouldn't allow the type of devotion a pet needs and deserves.

(I did actually get a puppy for my daughter, it was also run over a month later.  We also discovered that both Tanya and Ryan had pet hair allergies.)